Never let me go
by DemiIsNotOnFire
Summary: Katniss struggles to deal with the new peeta, she wants his old self back. To her snow has won one thing, that one thing being peeta. Can she win him back or can peeta convince katniss he never really left. To be updated every Week.


I stare at him, into thoose same old blue eyes I looked into the day I truly kissed him on the beach in the arena. Bright full of life not like the mutt president snow had turned him into and for once in many months after loosing my family and gale. I felt full, not yet happy, I don't think I could ever be happy again , not truly without primes soft touch and tenderness and even my mother. I do miss her but I know that she will never come back. So for once I feel full, full of peetas warmth and gentleness that no one not even gale could fill me with.

"I've never seen 12 from here before, it looks…grey" mutters peeta "It's never usually like this in the spring, me and gale always come up here, after hunting we,d sit right here and skin a hare or two" "Even with the coal dust." " even with the coal dust, but it suppose there is a lot more after the bombi.." I trail off realising what I'm saying, I see peeta palm clench, I hold my breathe knowing I have evoked the lucid memories of the hijacking.

"Twelve was bombed" real or not real?" "Real" "Because of the rebels, because of thirteen, because of you" I become tender, he hasn't been this bad for about two weeks after his return to twelve, I hold my breathe again and try not to run for the hills "Not real peeta, not Real" I grab his hand and look into the slighlyx darker blue eyes of his "Snow gave you that memory peeta, snow bombed the Capitol to kill us, to kill all of us, we we'd trying to help" He looks confused, the way he always does wen we correct memory's for him, then nods.

We're both quite for a minute, looking out into the empty and dark plains of 12, there isn't much left, there's the victors village left unsaved from her terrors of the revolt against the Capitol but apart from that only the meadow and a few streets have been fully refurbished, just enough for the people of twelve to return if they can face the terrors of this place again. For gale and my mother that was never an option, but for me, this is my home not place can feel like home to me, twelve is where my father died and this is where I shall die.

"Come on" he says, "I want to show you something, I don't known if it's still there but I need to" he stands up awkwardly just as he always has since the first games, and grabs my hands, the warm and firm touch reminds me of the old peeta. Its as if snow is back, that he never left, taunting me with parts of the real peeta and then when I feel as if I am truly in love with him again and that I have him back eh is taken away, back to the mutt that tried to kill me back in thirteen. I know as long as I am with peeta the memory's I try to so dearly forget will never leave me.

We walk hand in hand across mine and gales old spot, through the woods towards the now demolished fence that once guarded 12 and across the meadow, sweet with smell of flowers and bright with the coat of dandelions, it remind me of the old 12 where coal miners marched, children played and families even though in the depth of despair and starvation still managed a smile every morning through the streets. Now no one smiles often.

Still holding my hand tight we pass the old seam and end up at the square, completely demolished of course, I can see his eyes sink in as he stares at what once was his livelihood, where once his family lived, the bakery. "Do you remember it?" I ask, quiltly he stands still, like a statue staring, not blinking, just staring. I was the same way when I saw my old house in the seam. "I could never forget something I loved so much" he manages to get out after a few minutes I look into his eyes, still gripping his hand tight for my sake aswell as his "you forgot me" I say He looks at me, his crystal blue eyes staring into my emerald ones "I never really forget you, katniss, not really" he smiles and holds out a dandelion. I take it and roll it in my hand, hot with memories, good ones and ones that Instill fury into my heart. I smile back at him " I guess not"


End file.
